Not everything goes as planned.

There I was. Enjoying iced tea and reading on my porch on a sunny afternoon. I took a shower at around six and headed downtown to grab a beer. Here’s where the plan falls apart.

6:30 Find Bryn drinking alone on the back porch of Pergolesi. Join him

6:50 Grab Bryn and head over to the Cypress Lounge for a sick art punk show

7:00 Burritos

7:20 The Screaming Females kick off the show. So good! This three piece from Philly destroyed. The lead guitarist/singer was this tiny girl that could fucking shred like a metal god.

7:45 More beer.

8:00 Shellshag, a cute couple that could beat the living shit out of any boyfriend/girlfriend band. Taking an interesting approach to drums, they rocked out so hard that you wanted to get what ever drugs they might be on.

8:50 The Cysts, part of some weird thrash scene revival that i was unaware of until then. I probably would have really liked them if i wasn’t distracted by a cute girl. (not Bryn).

9:20 We all got are dance on with Abe Vigoda. This is the second time I’ve had the pleasure of seeing them and they do not disappoint one bit. Last time I saw them they had a tape for sale of their new album Skeleton which a promptly bought and has been in heavy rotation in the truck stereo.

10:00 The show is over but one is about to start at Santa Cruz’s newest venue, The Parish Public House. And we’re off! I hop in a friends car and give up on having a nice quiet night at home.

10:15 We arrive at our destination to find the show hasn’t started yet. More beer! We grab a six pack and head over to a friend’s house on Dufour.

10:25 Three cute girls decide to shotgun beers.

10:26 Hilarity ensues. Having three cans of bud left and one fancy beer and our ranks having swelled to five we stand in a circle pounding the rest in rapid succession always passing the beer to an empty hand.

10:45 We head back to the show to find an opening band none of us are very interested in. We continue to chain smoke and shoot the shit.

10:55 After giving away all my cigarettes (I can never say no to a pretty lady even if there is four of them) I run over to the liquor store to resupply and somehow ended up with a cute little bottle Bushmill’s.

11:20 Oh my god. Botron starts playing. Imagine three kinda dirty punk kids playing the most perfect, schizophrenic mix of psych rock, metal, math rock and good ol’ southern rock. Hell yeah. Also this girl would not stop spitting on her boyfriend then performed drunken CPR on a Safeway security guard. WTFuck.

12:20 ish. Trying to figure what’s next we buy more booze and end up at my house.

Here’s where things start to get a little hazy.

1:00 I never went to college, but most of my friends did. So i have never played this drinking game Kings Cup.

1:30 I’m really drunk. And smoking inside.

2:00 More friends show up and my house mates come to investigate and end up part of the game. I am no longer wearing shoes at this point as a result of swearing like a sailor. Don’t ask.

3:00 my room smells like a fucking bar, but there is half a watermelon. Yay!!

3:30 DANCE PARTY!! the game has been abandoned due to lack of beer. I’m gonna go ahead and say that it was probably a good thing.

3:50 Jay-Z, strobe lights, animal masks, suits, ties, ladies, gentlemen, headdresses, whiskey, jacket related injuries (i’m really sorry about your eyebrow..)

4:30 The people start to filter out, and we start to clean up a bit.

4:50 “Want to watch True Blood??” “Sure!”

Sunrise.

Hooray for S.O.N.S. 09′

-Hiram Coffee (I’m a fucking journalist!)